Angel, My Angel

Angel, Angel, where are you? I still love you just as much;

Come and heal my hurting wounds, with your gentle touch.

Angel, Angel, where are you? Can’t you hear my heart cry?

You know, without you, this Alien will, suffocate and die.

Angel, Angel, where are you? My heart yearns, night and day;

You know, you are only one, who can take my pains away.
Angel, Angel, You are my life, you are my only friend;

You loved me just for what I am, I never had to pretend.

Angel, Angel, ask your soul and then to your heart listen;

You know that taking away one’s life, is the cruelest sin


Confessions of an ALIEN to his ANGEL

These are confessions from an Alien who was once a human too. 

An Alien, for whom special relationships are so special that they are meant to last a lifetime. 

An Alien, who always believed that love and emotions are not meant to change with seasons or with new opportunities. 

An Alien, who refused to succumb to the temptations and lures of this  materialistic, lustful world. 

An Alien, who believed that a relationship founded on love, emotions and true feelings and not lust should withstand the test of all good and bad times by being together. 

An Alien, who could never adopt the modern values of ‘moving on’ and indulging in multiple relationships.

An Alien, who waited endlessly to meet someone who would actually like, appreciate and respect all these beliefs and value systems in a HUMAN. 

Alas! Learnt the very hard way that being emotional, not knowing how to enjoy multiple relationships or not seeking only material success were considered traits of a failure meant more for an ALIEN than a “successful” man.

For many many years, I lived a lonely life in this crowded world. All desires, emotions & feelings buried deep inside. I taught myself not to have any expectations from this materialistic world. A lonely life seemed one certainty and death the other eventual certainty.  

All of a sudden a miracle happened. An Angel appeared. All of a sudden, the very same world seemed like a beautiful place to live in. All of a sudden my emotions, feelings and beliefs found appreciation. All of a sudden I had experienced DIVINITY. I also learnt to believe in GOD. 

Every waking moment was a blessing. Life seemed a dream and I continued to live in those dreams.

The realities of this materialistic, lust-filled world can be very cruel, especially to someone who could never fit into this world. Reality struck. This scheming materialistic world struck. My beautiful dreams were shattered. My share of happiness was snatched away. My Angel decided to move away to find her happiness. 

My Angel & I enjoyed a perfect chemistry. I was so lost in the comfort of my dreamy world with my Angel that I had forgotten that my beautiful & attractive Angel was also in great demand by many ‘successful’ men in this materialistic scheming lust-filled world.

Though my financial and commercial circumstances took a beating, it did not matter much to me. Nothing else in this world seemed to matter as long as my Angel was mine. I noticed a few dark clouds beginning to hover around my Angel. Somewhere deep inside, a part of me began to sense the ominous signs. My Angel was moving away from me. My heart & brains went numb with all the mixed emotions of hurt, pain & an inexplicable fear.  I sank deeper into a helpless & confused state. Did not know how to express my hurts and it made matters even worse by trying to camouflage my hurt & emotions with argumentative and angry expressions. Unknowingly, I was digging my own grave.

I still live with the conviction that my chemistry with my Angel has always been, still is and will always be magical & beautiful beyond any worldly definitions but only as long as it is allowed to remain only between my Angel & me. Unfortunately, during the most testing times in our lives, some external forces managed to drag my Angel away from me.

Are lack of financial success, a few differences in opinion and the resulting temporary stress good reasons to break a heart that loves? If we can allow a few events or circumstances to create this distance, is it not possible to eliminate the same distance?

Yes, I am a rebel. 

Yes, I am obstinate. 

Yes, I will not give up. 


& YES!!!!!, I can’t stop being crazeeeeeee about my Angel. This is the way I love. This is the way I live.

Even if I fail & go to my grave with a broken heart I would have atleast given my love a chance. 

ANGEL, please come back into my Life

Do you hear my heart crying out………..Angel ! Angel !! Angel !! Where are you? Where have you gone? Why did you go away?

Angel, you taught me to smile again. Angel, you made me want to live again. Angel, you gave me the strength to bear every pain. Angel, you made me want to dream again. Angel, you filled every moment of my life with bliss. I never stopped thanking God for blessing me with my Angel. Life meant YOU & YOU meant life.

You left me feeling helpless, weak, defeated, lost & lonely. Nothing worth looking forward to in life.  How long will I live? I don’t know. What scares me is that I will have to live with this pain till my last breath.

My heart refuses to accept that my Angel has decided to move away from me. God, how do I make my Angel feel the depth, the intensity and purity of my feelings? God, how do I make my Angel feel the intense pain that chokes my heart? A pain that can only be experienced when one loses someone so close and dear to one’s heart. A pain that hurts deep within. A pain that cannot be shared. A pain that makes one helpless. My Angel probably thinks that my pain is something that will heal with time.  My Angel probably thinks that like everyone else, I too will “move on”. Angel, you are the cause and you are the remedy.

Angel, you were not someone with whom I was just trying to have a nice time. You were not one of the multiple relationships where I could get over you by spending more time with other relationships.

I was not arrogant, proud or egoistic. I was probably not wise enough. I was blinded by the thoughts and feelings that my Angel will be with me till I die.  Hence, nothing seemed to bother me. No fears, no sorrow, no pain. I did not seem to want or care about anything else. 

Angel, when I was not interested in life, you came into my life and made me want to live. Now when I really want to live, please don’t go away. Be with me. Don’t deprive me of myshare of happiness.

They say GOD can create miracles. God, I don’t know how to pray. God, bring back my Angel to me. Take away as many years you want from my life. But give me my Angel till I die.

Angel, either come back into my life or atleast pray that my pain ends quickly. Pray that I either lose my memory or my life. 

Angel, I will wait for the miracle till I die. I will wait for you to come back into my life.